no se que este es digno el trabajo

I have been wondering more and more recently if doing what i have always thought as right is worth it. am i only conservative and missing out on things that i could be enjoying, that would have no bearing on things eternal? am i making too big a deal out of things that do not matter? i still don't even know, but i do feel like i am missing out. not a fan of that. but i know that doing right will sometimes make you miserable. it's unavoidable in an imperfect world. still it seems as though the people around me have a handle on it. they seem to know what they are doing, and they do not let it interfere or distract them from what they have been taught is right. for them, there seem to be no consequences to suffer, and no regrets. at the same time, i am reminded that some consequences are not reaped until much later, and some people are hardened until they have no conviction. such a small issue has been blown into such a big deal in my mind; a constant struggle that i will someday have to confront and decide on once and for all. for now i am a pansy that hides behind a weak excuse. God help me, i can't figure it out.