no se que este es digno el trabajo

I have been wondering more and more recently if doing what i have always thought as right is worth it. am i only conservative and missing out on things that i could be enjoying, that would have no bearing on things eternal? am i making too big a deal out of things that do not matter? i still don't even know, but i do feel like i am missing out. not a fan of that. but i know that doing right will sometimes make you miserable. it's unavoidable in an imperfect world. still it seems as though the people around me have a handle on it. they seem to know what they are doing, and they do not let it interfere or distract them from what they have been taught is right. for them, there seem to be no consequences to suffer, and no regrets. at the same time, i am reminded that some consequences are not reaped until much later, and some people are hardened until they have no conviction. such a small issue has been blown into such a big deal in my mind; a constant struggle that i will someday have to confront and decide on once and for all. for now i am a pansy that hides behind a weak excuse. God help me, i can't figure it out.

The Importance of Conjugations

The other morning I was more psyched than usual for Spanish 201. I had done my homework, studied for the quiz, read the assignment, and was on time. Anyone who knows me: you know I'm typically not even close to that responsible, so I was proud of myself! When Profesor *not really a professor, just a TA* Guillermo said something like "quiren leer," I thought he was asking who had read the section. Like I said, I was pretty proud that I had actually been responsible, so I raised my hand faster than anyone in the class. Guillermo said "ooooh, gracias, Angela!" and there was a short awkward pause before I correctly interpreted his question.... he was asking me to read for the class. I really didn't mind reading or anything, it's not like I was embarrassed. I thought it was funny that I was all proud that I HAD read it, but he was just asking me to read it NOW. Perfect example of The Importance of Conjugations.
NEWS on my college education: hesitant plan for now-> CODO into Retail Management to get out of the undecided category, take the prerequisite classes necessary to apply for Selling and Sales Management (they ONLY accept applications February 1st). It's a pretty solid major, and can be used for a lot of different careers. I might minor in Spanish, because that would be pretty sweet to be bilingual, and it's r e a l l y valuable in the business world.
back to homework, I've got a math exam next monday and it's gonna kick my butt if i don't study like a maniac
:)
ang

library books

i never work hard enough. some weeks i am exhausted and feel so proud of myself for working so hard, but at the end i always remember something that i needed to do and forgot, or didn't have the time for. i feel like i never get everything done. i am so irresponsible! my next math exam is in exactly 2 weeks, and i'm already getting nervous, although i haven't had the time to study yet. i better get on that tomorrow. for now, goodnight
ang

it's the DALLAS CHEERLEADERS on cmt

I've been watching this reality show about the Dallas cheerleaders and how they are training for the football season. They go through tryouts, cuts, training, more cuts, boot camp, and more cuts- and it's intense!!! They're judged on their dance skills, teamwork, effort, focus,... all this stuff- and a ton of it is their appearance. The judges and coaches stress so much the girls' body mass, weight, and percentage of body fat. They're told to work out more, eat less, wear less make up, wear more make up, kick higher, run faster, smile bigger. They're yelled at and worn out and really stressed. It makes me miss competition and being an athlete so much! I've started working out (Turbo Jam DVD's in the basement- kickin and dancin with Chalene!), and I'm so proud of myself for just that :), but I do it alone, not with a team or anything. I miss that. Not that I'm dying to be a cheerleader, but I would so much love to get back on a team and play volleyball. Oh haha, something else I was thinking of while watching- all these cheerleaders are twig thin and so in shape, so, although I usually watch TV with a can of Pringles and a carton of Breyer's, there's no way I can do that while watching this show! .... and then the commercials so far are full of Pizza Hut, and Taco Bell, and scenes of families around the dinner table, attacking mashed potatoes and fried chicken. How extremely ironic! Chalene, here I come, let's go Turbo Jam!!!
;)
ang

http://www.math.purdue.edu/MA154

I have a math exam tonight. It's the second one of the semester, and I really am terrible at trigonometry. I've been sick all week, and I'm really tired. I've been getting up a few hours earlier than my classes start to take Madam Adam to his classes- he sprained his ankle pretty bad playing football over the weekend and can't walk very fast.... he really can only hobble. My exam starts in less than half an hour and I don't feel ready for it. I am so nervous, and so tired, and feel so crappy. I can only pray that I will do well- I've gone to all the classes, done all but a couple of the homework assignments, take AMAZING notes, but still... I suck at math. Wish me luck, I'm off to Elliot.
hugs
love
ang
love
hugs
:)

10:56

i do not like red white and blue clown dolls, girls in suspenders, red ribbon, tricky parking garage men, black trees with no leaves, or clicky ball point pens. or nightmares.

DoYouFeelLikeAMan

Hey girl, you know you drive me crazy. I'll never understand why you hang around, cause I see what's going down. You cover up with make up in the mirror and tell yourself it's never gonna happen again. You cry alone, and then he swears he loves you.

d o y o u f e e l l i k e a m a n
w h e n y o u p u s h h e r a r o u n d ?
d o y o u f e e l b e t t e r n o w
a s s h e f a l l s t o t h e g r o u n d ?
w e l l i ' l l t e l l y o u m y f r i e n d ,
o n e d a y t h i s w o r l d ' s g o i n g t o e n d
a s y o u r l i e s c r u m b l e d o w n , a n e w l i f e s h e h a s f o u n d

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect. Every action in this world will bear a consequence. If you wade around forever you will surely drown.

FaceDown/RedJumpsuitApparatus
http://www.videocodezone.com/videos/r/red_jumpsuit_apparatus/face_down-2.html